We search for someone to grow old with, yet the real secret is finding someone to remain a child with.
Who the fuck wants to grow old anyway? Wouldn’t we rather stay young, fit, and energetic until it’s our time to go? I’m not saying we should live forever, because everything that has a beginning must also end, but sometimes we suffer for years before our passing, until we literally don’t know who we are anymore and we become a burden to everyone around us. When it’s my time to go, I pray that it’s quick and sudden. I have the feeling that at a certain age we come to terms with mortality and welcome death with open arms as a relief; we get bored of the repetitiveness of life. So many years. We’ve just seen it all. We can predict it all – so much so that nothing excites us anymore.
I am not married nor am I in a relationship right now, but I wish my future partner will have a lot of child-like qualities; belief in the good, innocence, honesty… I wish she’d value the beautiful things in life. What are those things?… I just want to be able to look someone in their eyes and know in my heart that: “this one won’t betray me, I can trust you, I can share everything with you, and I don’t need to build fences”. Too idealistic? I am inclined to think so for now.
I’m 35 now, and although my heart still yearns for connection and love, I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the idea that it’s also okay to live life alone. I’d prefer if I didn’t, but it is what it is. You can’t control life and you can’t make anyone fall in love with you. I’ve tried 🙂 I made that mistake. Love is a choice or is it a chemical reaction?
Here’s what ChatGPT says about it:
That’s a beautiful and complex question — and the honest answer is: both.
Love begins as a chemical reaction and grows (or fades) through choice.
When you first fall for someone, your brain releases a flood of chemicals — dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, norepinephrine — all of which create the feelings of euphoria, attraction, and attachment. It’s nature’s way of pulling two people together. That stage feels involuntary, almost like being “under a spell.”
But as time passes, the chemistry settles. What remains is where choice comes in: the decision to care, to stay, to understand, to forgive, to nurture connection even when the initial spark has quieted.
So you could say:
Chemistry ignites love, but choice keeps it alive.
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